Archive for December, 2011

Through My Eyes

In doing the research for my book and writing about my personal experiences, I have come to many important insights.  First and foremost that one must understand is that trauma is in the eye of the one being victimizedIf you feel helpless, fearful, scared, traumatized; you are!  It does not matter what other people may feel during that experience; it does not matter how other people may recover from that specific incident, it matters through the eyes of the victim.

Recently, I found an  extremely helpful link on Babel: The Voices of a Medical Trauma, that explains trauma through the eyes of the patient, the medical notes of the chart, and the hospital’s response.  This was a critical piece for me to read and understand.  I really related to the idea that the eyes of the victim, and the experiences of the victim, were not all reflected in the medical notes and hospital response letter.  The fact that they do not match does not indicate in any way that this woman was not traumatized by her experiences. 

In looking through my own medical records, I have found significant discrepancies between what happened and how I perceived it to be.  Whether this is shoddy record keeping, or the way I viewed the trauma through my eyes does not matter.  If the patient feels traumatized, the patient needs treatment consistent with one who has been traumatized, regardless of the notes on the chart.

Thanks for Reading,



It’s the Holiday Season

For the past 3 years, holidays have been anything but joyous occasions.  Dodging the inevitable and seemingly benign, “How are you doing?” question was not easy and the avoidance of such questions not readily understood by many.

The holidays are a time where we often see people we have not seen in a while and those friends and family feel the need to catch up.  When one is mentally ill and physically injured, inquires about health and wellness serve as an unacceptable intrusion, especially when you are suffering with PTSD.

I remember dreading family get togethers, and would anxiously rehearse my answers to “Are you ready for number two? How’s work? What have you been up to? through angst ridden tears and panic attacks.  My overwhelming sense of how to handle these inquires was avoidance, and I often found myself leaving the room when these questions were asked and letting my husband explain my absence.

This is truly the first holiday where I am ready, and able, to talk freely and without reserve about my journey with a traumatic birth experience.  I am ready to share, are you ready to listen?


Thanks for reading,