Posts Tagged ‘support system’

How Many?

{ January 24, 2012 @ 2:42 pm } · { The Incontinence Issue, The PTSD, The Purpose, The Trauma(s) }
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So, I have been wondering….how many of us are there?  How many women suffer from fecal incontinence as a result of childbirth?  How many woman suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder as a result of childbirth?

In reading one of my favorite blogs, cesarean debate, I was motivated to comment upon one of Pauline’s entries.  Pauline’s tireless campaign for women’s choice to have an informed decision about a cesarean birth is well thought out and conveyed through her blog.  Her most recent entry, entitled “Why do I keep writing this blog? Because of e-mails like this…” really moved me to comment.  See blog entry and my comment here :  http://cesareandebate.blogspot.com/2012/01/why-do-i-keep-writing-this-blog-because.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+CesareanDebate+%28cesarean+debate%29

I would encourage my readers to talk about my blog in an effort to direct women, their partners, and the medical community towards my story.  It takes courage to talk about something that is not the norm in our society.  Courage is always fostered by having support.  The support of others with similar stories, the support of the medical community, and the support of those advocating for a change for women and their choices regarding birth.

Thanks for Reading,

Lauren

 

Empathy

{ January 19, 2012 @ 3:17 pm } · { The Incontinence Issue, The Purpose, The Trauma(s) }
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Throughout my ordeal, the one thing I have longed to hear from the medical professional whose actions and inaction caused my plight  is “I’m sorry, I understand.” Because of legalities, bedside manner in this regard has essentially gone out the window.  As OBGYN’s are flooded with lawsuits and threats of legal action, true empathy is rare to find vocalized in the medical community.

I am not saying that everything was my OBGYN’s fault, however, I am saying that her empathy could have been a powerful beginning to my healing journey.  For my OBGYN to relay the understanding of the loss that a 27-year-old must feel when she no longer has rectal function and control would have gone a long way with me.  Instead, I received a firm statement of “this is normal” from my OBGYN when I conveyed my inability to control my bowels.

In advocating for others, I hope to be that voice that “victims” can hear when the medical community remains silent.  So, here it is from my mouth to your ears “I am sorry for your situation.  I totally understand.  I will do everything I can to help you on your healing journey.”

Thanks for Reading,

Lauren

Advocacy is the Key

{ January 12, 2012 @ 3:59 pm } · { The Purpose, The Treatments }
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I’ve found that advocacy, ME being an advocate, is the key to my healing.  Believe me, I am not discounting the endless hours of therapy, medical surgical advances, tears, and strife that I have gone through by wrapping it up in a neat little package of being an advocate.  It is because of those things that I can be an advocate.  It is because I recognize the pain, both physical and emotional, that I can relate to, empathize with, and educate those in similar situations. 

Being in my own little corner of the blogging world, I can begin to reach out to others in a way that I was not able to before.  I appreciate all of the connections that I am making with my statements, and urge the followers of my blog to reach out and the name of my blog to others that may be needing support.  The thing about fecal incontinence and PTSD as a result of childbirth is that it is mainly a hidden, almost taboo, subject so you never really know who needs to be reached and when!  It is my hope that my blog can erase the taboo nature of birth trauma and educate the medical community and our peers about a very real problem in our society.

Thanks for Reading,

Lauren

The Dance of Life

{ January 12, 2012 @ 2:19 am } · { The Purpose, The Trauma(s) }
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“And now I’m glad I didn’t know
The way it all would end, the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance, I could have missed the pain
But I’d of had to miss the dance”

The Dance-Garth Brooks

 I believe that everything happens for a reason.  This thought pattern has been particularly hard to reconcile whilst experiencing this hardship.  Someone once asked me, “If you could go back, change how things were done, would you?”  My answer in the beginning of this trial in my life was “absolutely, of course!”  With careful reflection, intense therapy, and lots of support, my answer now is a firm “no.”  Why?  Because I believe in a higher purpose.  This was my trial to bear; this experience has made me into a strong advocate, has strengthened my ties with my family, and has allowed me to feel grateful for all of the “goodness” in my life.  I hope that my story can influence the medical community, and more importantly, anyone who has gone through, or will go through this process.

Thanks for Reading,

Lauren


What an Honor

{ January 5, 2012 @ 12:55 pm } · { The Purpose }
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Today I received the following comment on my blog post:

“Hi Lauren,

I have put a link to your blog from the Birth Trauma Canada website and I would like to say how amazing and courageous you are for speaking out. You are a hero to me.

Penny”

It truly is an honor to be “linked” to such a helpful website like Birth Trauma Canada. http://birthtraumacanada.org THANK YOU Penny, for helping me to get my voice heard in an effort to advocate for all dealing with Birth Trauma.

Feel free to check out the website as well as the other websites I have listed on the Helpful Links page.

Thanks for Reading,

Lauren

 

Familar Routines

{ January 5, 2012 @ 3:05 am } · { The PTSD, The Trauma(s) }
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One thing that people need to know about PTSD is that is paralyzes you.  With me, this paralysis was evident in my lack of spontaneity, my loss of freedom, and the limited choices and locations that were “safe” for me to engage in or visit.  One of PTSD’s major hallmarks is avoidance.  I avoided my many triggers and essentially guarded my mind against potential triggers by avoiding many people and locations.

Some people with PTSD develop agoraphobia and will not leave their house, their safe area.  Although never diagnosed with full-blown agoraphobia, I definitely experienced the panic that new areas, or areas with known triggers had on me.  For three years, there were a lot of things I did not do, experiences I did not engage in, people I did not meet, and places I did not see-all because of PTSD.

When I did venture out, it was never on my own at first. I always had a person with me, an advocate, who could steer me away from potential triggers, or help to calm my panic ridden self if a trigger was unavoidable.  After time and through therapy, I was able to safely navigate these areas as long as I had an “escape” plan at my disposal if the panic set in.  The places that I personally deemed “safe” were a trip to the library (children’s section only-adult books may prove to much of a trigger), a once a week extended family dinner, and certain classes at the gym (where the average age was 65-less likelihood of running into a pregnant woman in class). Today, I have come to the realization that these familiar routines that I developed were truly a lifesaver to me during those times of crisis.  Thank you to all those who made those experiences possible, I am forever grateful.

Thanks for reading,

Lauren

Through My Eyes

{ December 21, 2011 @ 12:56 am } · { The PTSD, The Trauma(s) }
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In doing the research for my book and writing about my personal experiences, I have come to many important insights.  First and foremost that one must understand is that trauma is in the eye of the one being victimized.  If you feel helpless, fearful, scared, traumatized; you are!  It does not matter what other people may feel during that experience; it does not matter how other people may recover from that specific incident, it matters through the eyes of the victim.

Recently, I found an  extremely helpful link on Babel: The Voices of a Medical Trauma, that explains trauma through the eyes of the patient, the medical notes of the chart, and the hospital’s response.  http://www.pulsemagazine.org/Archive_Index.cfm?content_id=119  This was a critical piece for me to read and understand.  I really related to the idea that the eyes of the victim, and the experiences of the victim, were not all reflected in the medical notes and hospital response letter.  The fact that they do not match does not indicate in any way that this woman was not traumatized by her experiences. 

In looking through my own medical records, I have found significant discrepancies between what happened and how I perceived it to be.  Whether this is shoddy record keeping, or the way I viewed the trauma through my eyes does not matter.  If the patient feels traumatized, the patient needs treatment consistent with one who has been traumatized, regardless of the notes on the chart.

Thanks for Reading,

Lauren

 

Teamwork

{ October 25, 2011 @ 6:26 pm } · { The Treatments }
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In earlier posts I have talked about how I want to be a support to others who need help navigating the stigma of mental illness as well as a guide for those interested in the Interstim Bowel Incontinence therapy.  I should point out that I would not be able to do this if I did not have my own special support system.

My family-My husband, my daughter, my mom, dad, sisters, extended family..they’ve been by my side since the very beginning.  Listening to what I wanted to share, supporting me through my treatments, crying with me and encouraging me during my setbacks, and cheering my successes!

My friends-Old friends who kn0w the “before trauma” me and trust that their unconditional friendship will see us through to the other side.  New friends who understand that there was a “me” from before and trust that they will like her too!

My medical “team”-Rectal Surgeon, Physical Therapist, EMDR Specialist, Psychiatrist, OBGYN, and other medical professionals who have helped with one test or another

My legal “team”-Lawyers, Social Security Disability Right Advocates (this has not panned out financially, but it’s nice to have the members of your team that try to fight for justice!)

My Literary “team”– this team is in the works, my book is written, just need to work through the steps of publication!

Teamwork.  I know I am the major player, but there is no way that I would be able to recover without a team of knowledgeable and supportive individuals. THANK YOU!

Thanks for Reading,

Lauren

Support Systems

{ September 16, 2011 @ 12:18 pm } · { The Treatments }
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This week I began my quest to set up a support system for those suffering with fecal incontinence.  The following is a flyer I distributed to my rectal surgeon’s office, another local rectal surgeon’s practice, and my physical therapist’s office.  If you are interested in the actual flyer for any reason, please contact me via e-mail and I will send it to you as a document.  Below is the flyer copied and pasted from my own document:

Dear Friend,

I suffer from Fecal Incontinence.

In March of 2008, I delivered my first born vaginally with the help of forceps.  I experienced a third degree tear in the process.  In the weeks following delivery, it became apparent that I had suffered damage to the rectal sphincter.  I was diagnosed with fecal incontinence and began physical therapy in May of 2008.

Because of the traumatic nature of my delivery, I also suffered emotionally.  I was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder with related anxiety disorder by the following year. 

The past three years of my life have been filled with endless appointments with physical therapists, rectal surgeons, OBGYN’s, psychologists, and psychiatrists’.  I ended up leaving work in April of 2010, after the physical and emotional stress resulting from the situation landed me in the hospital recovering from one of my many panic attacks. 

 I heard about Medtronic from my rectal surgeon in June and was ready to try anything that could possibly increase my ability to control my bowel incontinence.  Medtronic Interstim has changed my life.  From the moment of implant, I recognized changes in my function.  I could feel again.  I could clench again.  I could CONTROL my bowel movements again.  It is truly a miraculous therapy.  I have very little issue with bowel incontinence since the first implant.

Recently, I have begun blogging about my experiences with Interstim as well as the events that caused me to be incontinent in the first place.  My blog is called Peace out of Pieces and can be found at peaceoutofpieces.com.  Please feel free to read, comment, and pass along to anyone that may be interested.

My goal is to facilitate a support group that allows people who suffer with Fecal Incontinence, have had the Medtronic Interstim surgery for bowel incontinence, people who are considering the surgery, inquiring health care professionals, and the advocates that support Interstim to come together to talk about pertinent and practical issues surrounding the therapy and the situation.   Please contact me if you are interested at peace4Lauren@gmail.com Dates, times, and locations for the group to meet will be discussed via e-mail.  I look forward to hearing your stories and meeting you in the near future!

Thanks for Reading!

-Lauren

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